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Liberty City has a lot of news. A lot, a lot. Whether it be by Liberty Tree, Public Liberty Online, or any other tabloid or scam site, there's news to be found, and news to be read. Here are some of the headlines.

Serial Killer Found Dead - He Has A Name - Eddie Low

The serial killer they couldn't name has been found. Dead. The killer is believed to have killed up to 10 people over the last few months, usually joggers or nighttime strollers. Police believe he attacked the wrong person, and was himself killed in a fight. Detective Jon Atkinson told this newspaper, "It is very disappointing. I was just about to make an arrest. I'd solved the case. His name was Eddie Low. He lived in Dukes - I was literally heading over to his house when the news came in another body had turned up. Obviously, the screenplay I am writing about the case will now have a slightly different ending, in which I make the arrest, and it will carry the subtitle 'based on true events', because that will make a better story." The mayor commented, "This is not the LCPD's finest hour. We have a killer on the loose for months, and no leads; then they give him this stupid nickname - 'Eddie Low'. What kind of a nickname is that? Heads will roll for this. Oh, bad joke. I mean, people will suffer." Eddie Low was the killer's actual nickname. He was a loner from Dukes, who apparently kept an account of his actions online here and on the popular networking site MyRoom.

Kerry McIntosh Demands Refund From Rehab

Kerry McIntosh was barely 12 steps out of rehab last night when she was arrested for DUI and possession of a controlled substance, believed to be a small amount of cocaine. Once the police were made aware of Kerry's celebrity status, she signed some autographs and was released with a warning. According to a statement issued by her agent, McIntosh has decided to sue the rehab center in Los Santos, claiming that she is just as messed up as when she arrived four days earlier. Lenny Tinderman, who runs the $60,000-a-night treatment center and is an active alcoholic himself, told reporters, "Miss McIntosh checked out two hours early, against all our advice. If she cannot complete the program, we cannot take responsibility for the repercussions." In a posting on the supermodel's blog, Kerry told fans that she is now on her way to a new rest facility in the Bahamas, "An enema and a game of tennis and I'll be back on track. If I'm going to face my demons, I want to do it with an ocean view."

Sex and Death in Bohan

When customers arrived at the Triangle Strip Club in Bohan they were hoping to see some flesh - but not this much. After a violent shootout, many bodies, chunks of meat, and viscera were strewn around this gaudy exotic dance venue. Amongst the dead are the brothers who ran the club, Javier, Jesus and Jose Trunchez. The three were known associates of criminals including the recently released crack kingpin Dwayne Forge. Police say the shootout was not the result of a drug deal gone bad but rather a dissatisfied customer. The killer is said to be a male with a European accent. Other strip clubs such as the known mob hangout Honkers in Alderney have increased their security.

Video Game Violence Becomes Real

Jayvon Simson's body was one of the many collected by coroners in Algonquin recently. It wasn't a knife or a gun or a rocket launcher that killed this man though... he was killed by video games. Witnesses report a heated argument outside Videogeddon arcade, an establishment where addicts pump quarters into computers to get their fix of horrific violence. The argument was followed by a chase on motorbikes then his grizzly murder. It is no surprise that upset community leaders are pointing to games as the cause of this death; the pattern of altercation, vehicle chase, murder, rebirth and try again is common in video games. Although Mr. Simson was a known drug user and dealer with several convictions, we are certain this case is due to polygons and pixels not parole boards.